Conflagration Manual

How to keep her from leaving: buy daisies, hide them behind your back, wait for the upturned lips that according to her is something called a smile.

How to make up for it: drive her to pick up what's-his-name from school, and then go straight to the toy store. Pretend to call your boss in front of her; while what's-his-name stares at the action figures with wide eyes and innocence you envy, tell the phone you're done with those 12-hour workdays. 

How to keep up appearances: cook the special breakfast the next morning, hard-boiled eggs in their little cups, etc.; offer to drive what's-his-name to school; say you've got reservations tonight at that French place you two met at; kiss her goodbye; wipe the lipstick off your cheek in the car.

How to enact the plan: loop the block, and take their now-sleeping forms into the basement you keep locked.

How to appease the serpent: wash the altar you made so many spouses and step-children ago with blood. Use the bronze sacrificial knife and lick the blade. Feel the deity's power flow through you. Hiss in triumph, with all thanks to your Master.

How to continue the process: find a body like yours, bust its teeth out, put it in the basement. Make it look like an electrical mishap; drive away with the altar and the knife; watch the house burn in the distance.